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  • Writer's pictureRemus Corbei

Fight bullies with Verbal Jiu-Jitsu

Updated: May 22, 2020

Parents, did you know that 165,000 kids miss school every day because of the fear of bullies? Did you also know that bullying causes depression and low self-esteem? Jiu-Jitsu training helps to protect your child from bullies.

Schools have a “zero-tolerance” for fighting. Who does this favor? The bully or the victim? While this policy does reduce the amount of physical fights that the school may encounter, what about the verbal bullying? Verbal harassment is more damaging and lasting than physical harassment. In our Kids Jiu-Jitsu classes beside Jiu-Jitsu skills, we also teach our young students "The Three T-Steps" method and practical Verbal Jiu-Jitsu phrases to help them deal with physical harassment.

STEP 1: Talk - Respectfully and confidently ask the bully to stop.

Talk with the bully and ask them to stop by using the Verbal Jiu-Jitsu phrase: “When you call me stupid it makes me feel bad and I wish that you would stop.”

It is possible that the person who was verbally harassing was not aware of it and by using our Talk Step we can defuse the situation. If the bully ignores this request, continue to ask them for three days. If the bully doesn't stop, proceed to Step 2.

STEP 2: Tell - Tell your parents and teacher about the situation.

Make your parents and teacher aware of the situation. Why wait the three days you might ask? It is possible that the bully may stop and there was no need to trouble anyone about it. Should you have to tell the teacher, he or she will appreciate that you tried to handle it yourself. Use your Verbal Jiu-Jitsu phrase: “Mrs. Hunt, I asked Bobby three days in a row to stop calling me names.” You might want to tell your parents right away to keep them informed. Telling is the only way to inform the right people of the situation. If the bully doesn't stop after you have informed everyone about the situation, proceed to Step 3.

STEP 3: Tackle - Tackle the bully mentally using your Verbal Jiu-Jitsu and only if they become physically aggressive, tackle them physically using your Jiu-Jitsu skills.

Remember, a bully feeds on fear of the victim. Tackelling the bully mentally may solve the situation. Once you tell them you are not afraid, they may leave you alone. Use the Verbal Jiu-Jitsu phrase: “Hey, are you challenging me to a fight, because I am not afraid of you.” Bullies almost never want to fight.

If the bully says no or is avoiding to answer at all, then use the Verbal Jiu-Jitsu phrase “Then stop calling me stupid and leave me alone.

If the bully says "Yeah, I want to fight you." use your Verbal Jiu-Jitsu phrase "I'm ready! Do what you have to do."

If the bully decides to get physical, then you can use your Jiu-Jitsu skills. Do not hurt the bully, establish control and start negotiating using the Verbal Jiu-Jitsu phrase "Please stop, I don't want to hurt you."

Regardless of how the fight starts, it is likely both parties will end up in the principal’s office. By following The Three T-Steps it will be easier to explain what happened when the bully went from verbal to physical attacks. Explain how you tried to resolve the situation by “asking” the bully to stop. Explain how you informed the teacher of the situation. It is very possible that the teacher did talk with the bully. It might have reduced the amount or just made sure it wasn’t done in the classroom where the teacher can observe. Explain that you asked the bully if their intentions where to fight and that you had no intentions of injuring the bully but using your Jiu-Jitsu skills to protect yourself. If you followed the rules, you should not have any fear from your parents. You may be suspended from school due to the “zero-tolerance” rule on fighting, but let’s examine the end result. Do you think the bully will be more likely to verbally harass you in the future? Do you think that word got out and is around the school that you are not going to stand for this kind of behavior?

You go to school to get an education and not to be physically or mentally harassed. Most kids do not stand up for themselves because they lack the self-confidence to protect themselves. Our students are not aggressive but more assertive through their training. They do not just defend themselves but stand up for those who are being harassed physically and mentally. If your child is not training Jiu-Jitsu, enroll them now. It is just as much a part of their education as the school you send them to during the day. Physical scars will heal but the emotional ones will last a lifetime.

If you would like more information about our Kids Jiu-Jitsu classes, please give us a call at +965 500 14 004 or contact us.

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